If I just let myself snap in secret then I haven't really changed.

I say as I come here, the place I assume no one looks. But I suppose I'm not snapping.

I only feel sad about losing you that way when I think about who you are. Then is when I notice there comes a certain want for you; then is when I realize I will never have you again. But when I let myself think of the love that I have, the selfless kind, I am fine. Happy even. I realize that I will feel sad from time to time, sad because I am still selfishly clinging to you. The majority of the time I am grateful, you're alright, stronger, better, more stable, happier. We broke things off well. Growing past the loss of you, knowing you, having you, being that close to you, will take time.

In the meantime I'm discovering my strengths, my weakness that I must overcome, the time it will take to grow better. I have Zeal to help me, to hone me, to correct me when I take a wrong turn. I have a freed state of mind that is far stronger than any I've forged before, built with the singular purpose of becoming the absolute best. I have knowledge from past experiences, tools to gain more, examples of what is right and examples of what is wrong, things to repeat, things to never do again.

I am extremely tired.

But it's alright, I'm not letting up. There is nothing in me anymore to hold me back.

I'm so angry.

It's that cold anger again, the type that creeps up slowly and burns like ice. I can feel myself slipping into this state of mind that will force me to move. That's alright too. I know what it's from.

What I've discovered is pride. A lot of it.

I'm beginning to understand Zeal's frustration at people being better than him. I have an itch, a desire to rip everything in front of me apart and take what I want. I am not weak, not helpless, and even if I am ignorant I won't be for long. I can't fucking stand people looking down on me, giving them a reason to. I've given them plenty up to this point and over time it's built up this cold rage. No matter how long it takes me I'm going to become better than all of them.

Sure, I don't have that burning passionate fire Zeal does or the impulse to rip my enemies apart the first chance I get, but I don't need that with the patience I have.

Right now I fortify. I can do nothing if I crumble before I get there. So I'll lay the foundation and work hard to act later. I don't care to destroy others. However, I do want to be able to. I want to be able to so that I can be the best. When I'm the best I won't have to bow to someone else to get help when I need to act. I can actually protect myself, protect people I care about, have the power to get what I want.

It's going to take so much work, haha. I'm going to have to work even harder than now. Now is nothing at all.

That being said, I've made excellent progress. My self-control is far stronger, my body is healthier, my mind is more powerful, I can deal with emotions and act properly, my ability is actually being used and I'm done sitting back. I have a reason to move.

I'm pretty fucking great right now, but it's not good enough for me. I haven't impressed myself yet, I'm not the best yet. I'm going to fucking impress myself, I'm going to prove to myself that I can impress myself.

Also I discovered K pop and it's bomb ^^

I'm dropping titles in a language I don't even speak until I feel like being consistent again.

I have been given the gift of knowledge without pain. I know a lot of things that I didn't have to labor to get, didn't have to live through, didn't have to bare. I've been through a lot of really good things and I have the opportunity to become so much better. I've learned self-discipline and I've learned how to keep my feeling side in check. I've learned how things work and I've learned about the world. I've learned about realms and other worlds, I've learned about what's true and false and I've learned that I don't have to be afraid of the religion I was brought up in. My family is stable, my life is within my grasp and as for bad things that directly affected me I don't remember any of them. I've worked to get better academically, physically I've started training myself, spiritually I need some work but I know what to do now.

Stepping back, looking at everything, there is far more to be grateful for than there is to complain about. I'm adopting a new perspective.

I've been given tools. I've been given insight. I've gone through next to no pain in the grand scheme of things, but enough to make me cautious and enough to prepare me. With these things I can become better and learn more and actually live. I want to live, I want to grow better, I want to be the best that I can be in this life.

For this to happen I have to realize how ignorant I am, how much I have to learn. I know I've made some steps but they're incredibly small. Now I will begin to truly learn.

I'm not lonely

It's okay

文字列

Softly.

私はむしろ知らない

Ah, yes. I feel more like myself.

You're quite yourself as well, aren't you?

I had a dream you were seething with hate and wanted revenge. I imagine you thinking everything through a hundred times. I imagine how you feel when you realize that you'll never touch any of it again, that you are alone with a burden you'll never be able to share and there is only one person you can go to. A strange familiar feeling envelopes you and you wonder if it's possible to taste at least one piece that you had before. It was all a blur but there were moments of clarity and maybe you can make sense of things and move on. Hopefully, you reach out...your fingers retract as you realize exactly what this means. Who are you to think only of yourself? You've made mistakes, how can you ask for anything. Unless...you know, you know what might be going through her mind at a time like this and you make a strangely hopeful guess that it's a mutual need. So you recognize your failure but do not retract your hand completely. Back inside yourself. You can't think alone can you.

嵐や火災、私は立っている

I am immovable and have conquered the first step to gaining a bullet proof kind of power, strength of mind.

I will carve the accessibility of my weakness to the finest point and lock up my intentions in a safe. Even those who make it through my maze will only find five more layers of security and a fistful of fun traps to make them sorry they even tried.

I have found that I do not need what I thought I did to remain human, empathetic, and able to love unconditionally. I have found the key to beating the weakness that hurt me and I know how to become stronger. I will be more perfect and more capable while still remaining myself. I will uphold my integrity and at the same time cloak the reality that could bring me to my knees.

At this moment three people can exploit me. One of them cannot hurt me. Another I hope to kill. The third I chose as my weakness and I do not regret that choice in the least.

あなたが知っているかのように踊りをやめてください。そうしない。これは大丈夫です。

I've created too much, or rather I've created nothing. Everything seems to have a mind of it's own. Danger, so they say. I agree. Agreeing changes nothing about me. Teach me about fire. If you teach me how to light things up maybe I can burn everything that springs up before I get the chance to tell it no. That's a good plan if I want to kill it, but the truth is I manifest in this way and there is no way in hell I'm killing myself again. I've had enough and I'm leaving my soul alone. It's tired, I'll let these gardens grow, these forest plant, the masks can be cleaned and the walls can be scrubbed of blood. I was okay a long time ago and I won't hate what's inside of me. The wounds on my stomach have healed and so have the wounds in my mind. I don't care if a scar remains, if a cold sliver of you manages to whisper a thing or two because I'm no fucking coward and I OWN MY MIND. 

私は一人で、本当に

I've taken five steps out of reality and six steps into some type of oozing mess that I don't really know what it is.

I'm off balance, slipping. I am something. Something, something, something. Who says anything about anything because I'm not really sure who's saying what and I don't understand what I'm saying back.

Tangible is fading and it slips away from me far too easily for my liking. My grip appeared stronger, or rather it is. My shoes were glued to the ground, they remain, I'm slipping out of them.

Not a crisis at all I suppose but what am I saying. I feel so wrong but also so alright and nothing is coming out like I know it should be, but then how does it? I'm being eaten by God knows what and I think that maybe a fog of this stuff will make me so disconnected from my action I'll be a haze of things I don't understand performing things that I do without reason.

I'm not impulsive but what am I doing?

ええタイトルとたわごと

You're probably downplaying so much and I want to ask about it but I don't know if you can even say

「スタンド・バイ・ミー」

...

Alex

私は私の子供たちと話をしたい

What the fuck can I do, huh?  Could someone just fucking tell me some way I can do something? I'm done with being left to wait and watch and pretending like I'm fine with observing helplessly because I'm not. So tell me what I can do.

間もなく

I'm waiting for the storm I feel

ええ

I can't stop thinking haha

面白いハァッ

I remember you told me then was our time. You said that we should be happy right then because it was our moment. You said we would never feel exactly as we did right then and that we should appreciate it and know that it was beautiful and special.

I want to say I wish I could have appreciated things more or tried to get more time with you, but I know I did. I appreciated every moment of every second with you and I fought to stay close to you. Mm, but now I just hope we will have more moments and though it will not be the same it can become even better.

But first, now. Right now while you work and I wait and then maybe we'll talk even if just for a moment and then return to working and waiting. I am patient. I'll love you from a distance.

私

Ok

知らないあいつ

"When I choked you to death did you think about everything you did wrong? Did you think of a million ways you could have avoided the situation and all the small cracks in your defenses that led us there? As you slipped away did you think of our journey, think of how I invaded your mind and twisted you around my finger? Did you think about how incredibly stupid and easy to understand you are, how it took next to nothing to make you grovel at my feet but knowing this you came anyway. Maybe you thought about nothing at all. It didn't look like you got much of a chance to. Too busy being strangled."

He sat up. There's nothing to this but a twisted bit of karma that took the roles and reversed them. Do you remember?

His voice, once soft as silk, seemed to fade into a rough whisper.

"But then, possibly that it why you stand above me know. Funny how things change, eh? I thought I was so powerful then. I enjoyed ever minute of it. But you, you rose up even though you were weak. He laughed. "And maybe I respect you some for that."

煩わしい。

But I think I'm tired.

Headache.

ここです

Eh, call me insane but

私は存在感を感じる

Really though I don't get myself at times

何かが間違っている

All the butter to eat you with my dear

これらのタイトルはちょっと退屈だ

I don't understand myself sometimes

シンプルに、ついに

I haven't talked to you in a week. But even so, knowing the possibility is there to talk to you soon and that you are alive and alright makes me feel less alone. A presence that I don't have to constantly doubt. Well-being I don't have to constantly doubt. It's eased my mind and I think despite the whirlwind of initial feelings it's easing my heart to.

私はしません

"I am supposed to obey. I am supposed to listen."

おかしいです。

Ah, by the way, no eyes on me.

くそ

I hadn't noticed how worried I was until you spoke to me. It felt like a million tons had been lifted off of me and I could finally breathe again. I think I was shocked. Shocked because not even in my best dreams had you been safe, had you spoken to me, had you even had the slightest hope of coming back. 

You're okay. You are really truly okay. You haven't been suffering horribly though you have been put under strain. You always downplay bad situations so it's possible things are worse than you're making them out to be, but you are okay. You're yourself. You have changed, I can feel it, but you're you and you're still becoming better. 

I wish I knew more.

I wish it was easier to know what was happening and how you've been.

But I am grateful.

I am grateful I know this much. Grateful that after seven months of waiting I can rest assured that you're alive and not in danger. I am so so grateful that you sound sane and feel like you and that you're getting help. I'm grateful you can even talk to me and tell me and I'm grateful that you decided to. I'm grateful that you tried so hard and I'm grateful that you still speak to me in a tone that doesn't place me coldly miles and miles away. 

You're safe, I can't believe you're safe.

あなた

Well I suppose a complex kind of song
could pick us up and move us right along.
A masterpiece of words can lead us through
but if I take that path will I find you?

I've always walked through halls of solid stone
and I've made sure that I remain alone.
So when I looked for you I lost my way
and now I'm left with love in shades of grey.

When I met you I only saw the fog
your face distorted by a thick dark smog;
but in my heart a warmth began to grow
I felt a light that I would learn to know.

I cannot break the walls that you've built high
but I don't care and here's the reason why;
I know you with my hands and with my soul
and through your masks I feel you as a whole.

I look into your eyes and I am blind
but I can sense your presence in my mind.
And inside you there burns the purest light
that cuts through me, illuminates the night.

I cannot speak of things I do not see
I can't explain the feeling deep in me
But here I stand and tell you once again
I'll stand by you through hell until the end.

戦いを止める

mine was the screams of injustice, not for myself, never for myself. mine were the echoes in the dark, the reminder that i was once alone, reminders that i once was never alone. mine were the corrupt movements of one who does not understand, mine were the desperate attempts at understanding, mine were the failings of ignorance and the struggle to hold to a faded piece of humanity.

action defines us

but where do we place what we feel?

i am bad at action. when i feel something important, when i understand something, i don't know how to prove it. i don't know how to show it, act it out. i just feel it.

maybe that's why i've always written it down, it seems like an action, like proof.

私は人間です

I love you. And I will stick around because of that. Because I know we help each other and because we've been through a lot together. You are my best friend. You mean the world to me and even if you don't take the time to think on my level I don't care, I still value you. I think that you only judge how I act. So maybe feelings never mattered at all. But they do to me. You care about a lot of things that you hide. You bury everything in plan sight and then wrap it up in laughs and jokes. You don't care about a lot of things. You are hard, but you feel soft at times. Being soft at times doesn't make you weak, even if you fear that it does. I've learned that underneath the judgments and harsh attitude is someone very raw and pure. It's difficult to explain, but underneath the layers I'm beginning to make sense of things. And I stretch out my arms to you and try to see as you see. But it's hard this time, I've been so closed off. But now I will try harder to understand you.

理解

さて私はやる

It seems like a pilgrimage to me. A kind of journey that I've started, seeking out exactly who I am with or without what I've had all this time. I delved deep into myself and came up with nothing, so I thought. But now I realize what I've done to myself is not completely useless, there are still lessons to be learned and things to see. What I have to draw from is not enough and I must walk on, but leaving everything behind to never look upon again is a leap into the hole that stands inches from me. I choose a path, the abyss was never for me and never will be. I am not one to fall with no direction and no control. So I still stand within my walls and I realize that with caution, I may be able to guide people in, my own choice.

私の平和を保つ

It's ironic that here is where I ended up after all this time. I managed to find my original posts from when I first started blogging online. I had to dig through the html that had somehow gotten into my files, but I picked it out. I'm so different from then. It's strange looking back and seeing the ignorance in my words, seeing how I was grasping at anything and then releasing into a pool of absolutely nothing. I was helpless and alone and going slowly insane. Now I feel trapped, it's honestly similar to how I felt then except now there is a fear of expressing what I do feel. That and I don't have that same ignorance I had before. It was somewhat of a security. A security I'm still somewhat caught in. I'm still ignorant, in a way. I think I need to start talking to more people. If I don't expand soon I'll probably always be trapped in this security and haze.

そこにハハハイ

I think it's that I don't feel safe writing anymore. I feel constantly judged and constantly watched. I feel like every crevice of me is under close examination and that I can't breathe at all because as soon as I say anything everyone will think it's a lie and I'll have to consider it as being a lie too. I shouldn't be listening to that or fearing that, but as unrealistic as it is I can't directly write in what was once my safest space. Nobody would even care enough to read, nobody even looks anymore and nobody gives a shit who I am now, but I'm still afraid.

おっとっと

Feels like something's happening

あなたはとても親切だ

You're so kind.
Every morning in my mind,
it is you I seem to find.
You're so kind.

You breathe me in...
                            ...You breathe me out
Your sweet words....I couldn't do without.

You're so nice.
You don't have to ask me twice...
There's no rolling of the dice.
You're just nice!

You breathe me in...
                            ...You breathe me out
The touch you give....I couldn't do without.

You're so divine.
You own everything of mine
and I owe you all my time.
You're so divine.

You breathe me in...
                            ...You breathe me out 
And your soft voice....I couldn't do without.

Don't need proof
Cause you always tell the truth
and you never never lie.
You just love to make me cry.

You breathe me in...
                            ...You breathe me out 
And all you are....I couldn't do without.

I hate you. 
And I wish we could be through.
There was nothing I could do.
I hate you.

Nevermind.
No, I don't.

You're so kind.
But get out of my mind.

Not good enough for allpoetry, not shit enough to throw away

愛

💛💙💜💚❤💔💗💓💕💖💞💘

私はタイトルがあるのがうんざりですが、私はこのたわごとを開始して以来、私は完了する必要があります

Maybe being strong really isn't for this world. 

I'm so fluid still, but I have made walls. I don't trust anyone enough to ask for a second opinion, but I need to make sure I am going the right way. Because I am trapped inside my pain and I want to see beyond it. 

なぜ私たちは骨として存在しますか？

Bones are too hard for us

We are the earth, maintaining shape for a short while before falling into a million pieces

なぜあなたは聞いていますか？

My thoughts when unfiltered disgust me.

運命は人形を作る

He does tell the truth.

He is honest, the thing I value the most. That is part of why I had such a weakness to him. He never broke the rules, he never lied, and the destruction was a form of perfection.

It's possible he was blameless by my standard. If I could both remember and stay sane maybe I would see what happened as only natural. He probably did. I hate the way I think sometimes.

知っているふりをしないでください

Decay is hardly ever something noticeable. With wings fully extended and hair flowing down past soft lips it would steal your breath from your lungs. White fades to grey and purity can melt into the earth, char that blows away in the wind.

He was an angel. You could sense it in his eyes, feel it effortlessly.

Yes, I believed you when you told me it was hell. I believed because I saw you decay before my eyes and I felt your heart break when god denied you. "Love is not for me." you said. An angel's wings should never be broken and when an angel screams it should be god who extends his hands. To crave that touch means addiction to it.

The boy's arms were covered in the ashes of a doomed nation. So soaked in sin he didn't even understand the meaning of light. But he understood love. Love would be pain, pain because of the sins of the world. What god can face corruption and call it good? His body shook and his broken wings seemed to fold into the earth. He screamed out his eyes closed, his head back and tears rolling down his cheeks. He was alone, and the god he would have died for, the god who made him, the only one who's love he wanted had forsaken him.

それは再び始まります

Exposure is raw and I'm not raw

可能な方法はありません

But most of all I just want you to be safe.

地獄

I want to run my hands through your hair and hum as you fall asleep in my arms. I want to listen to you talk and I want to remind you every day how beautiful you are. I want to take walks with you and watch thunderstorms with you. I want to sit in silence knowing you are present somewhere near. I want you to feel safe and loved, to have a moments peace and rest.

美しい

"We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don't maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes."

2 Corinthians 4:2

Are my eyes wrong

I won't give up so easily

I won't let go so easily

きっとあげる

"I speak the truth...--I am not lying, my conscience confirms it" Romans 9:1

The value confuses me

The value confuses me so much

私と来て

Fuckity fuck selfish is fine but sometimes it needs to be put aside

勝つ

I'm selfish as hell :o

おそらく私はあなたが聞いた最初の場所であるので、ここに書きます

For though my hands will burn with flame
my heart remains the same
I sit in silence patiently
my mind echoes your name

My eyes are filled with fireflies
the sky is wet with rain
These walls of mine breathe gentle sighs
I think of you again

Where worlds collide is where I stand
the line seems far too thin
I always wondered where you'd land
they always seem to win

It seems like strength is not enough
like I can't do a thing
My uselessness is haunting me
my screams are how I sing

My will is burning in my eyes
my heart is leaning back
But even when the fire dies
my soul will still attack

Will you forget me sometime soon
Will pain make you move on
The day you finally speak to me
Will everything be gone

There's nothing you could ever do
To make me turn away
But even if I stand by you
that doesn't mean you'll stay

一息

I expected myself to weaken if I did what I did and I was right. But I think maybe this way is better, this way I'll have to pull through into becoming stronger. Maybe it's a good thing. But only as long as I'm aware.

もしそうなら、あなたは吸う

Mmm, maybe I just need to refocus. It's time to break things down more. Set better goals. Train my body and mind at the same time.

一度にすべてを翻訳しない限り

I feel wrong though. I think I need guidance.

あなたは本当にこれらすべてを翻訳していますか？私は興味があります

but i miss shitposting ;-;

i feel like it proves that i'm an edgy shit to myself and also makes me lose complete control over my mind at times if i'm not cautious

it feels like it's against some unspoken rule to actually just write down whatever i'm thinking at the moment

but i guess it could be seen as a coping mechanism

i do know i've gotten far more lax in how i portray myself to others yet tightened up in how i handle myself in my mind

possibly i am my own worst enemy in the realm of thinking and knowing and shit

良い午後の雌犬

I need to balance this shitpost area with the actual area I'm supposed to be shitposting in that is now not really shitposting and has kind of detoured from its original purpose kms

私を壊せ

Strength. It isn't necessary here. It isn't necessary here. It's wrong here. Because we don't need it. Because we need nothing. Because were are pathetic and weak and taken care of. Because we are children.

Do you understand what it is to feel pain? Do you understand what it means to be strong? Do you understand what it is to be torn apart until you are broken strips of skin and bone lying on the floor? Do you really know what it's like when you are forced to be strong? Your thoughts are questioned and your worth is nothing because you can always be better, you are never good enough. You never will be. When pain is an everyday occurrence and there is no option to stop, you either survive or you die. Keep going and going and going.

It's considered a cruelty. Because when you force that on a person they become something else entirely. Because it shapes them and exposes them and makes them raw, screaming beings. Because it takes something that modern society considers human and morphs it into a creature that has always been the true definition of survival, of achievement, of humanity.

But it is truly a cruelty. A cruelty because here it leaves one in hell, isolated, alone, and with nothing to fight. A cruelty because the world may do that to a person, a person may do that to a person to prepare them for what they need, but someone you trust who prepares you for a battle you will never fight. Who takes a choice from you and forces you to become something that you don't need to be and have no choice in. This is cruelty. But at least you're strong, right?

Is it worth it if the strength you have will probably never be used?

You never made a choice in the beginning. You never decided to be strong, to have to survive, to be alone. It was never a choice, it was taken and then it became what had to be thought and done and what had to happen. So that is a stupid question to ask.

But it is the world's fault that strength is not needed. We've created this soft environment and deemed it good. But it locks us up and makes us weak. We are not the greatness of humankind, we are the weakest.

The world shaped mankind into a being that can endure pain, that can take damage, that can heal and grow. Become strong and hard, become a flawless machine that is haunted and torn inside but godlike. Raw, exposure, something you can't contain crawling out of your chest. Locked away but drawn out by what seemed unbearable. But it wasn't unbearable, and instead you became larger than life. You were not cut down even though you truly wanted to be, you wanted to die and die and die but you couldn't, you didn't. You lived. Which often times seems so much worse.

Pros and cons on extreme levels but it's all human beings at the core. And I hate that it forces them to scream out in loneliness. No one, no matter how strong or hard should have to be alone.

I don't know. I can't tell. It's a line that I can't define properly because I don't know for sure, I see but not everything and I'm missing so much. I'm sorry.

これらの翻訳を停止する

It does feel like melting back. I remember this format and I remember writing a lot of my old posts. I wonder why I care so much about memories. And I wonder why I'm trying to bring some of it back. And I'm tired enough to stop for today. 

So if I sink into the light and it envelops me remind me that it fades. I will not place my hands on char again and expect it to stand firm. I will not let my mind decay into a maze that I don't control. I will not let the cage doors fly open and when I lock something I will hide the key. I am not the same and when I feel this way it will not change anything because the past is in the past. 

Memories seem dangerous sometimes. 

But it's a nature that has been repeated throughout time that I sense.

She was innocence wrapped into one essence and I saw more than just her identity in it. So when she filled pages and paper she became something that probably wasn't accurate. 

Why is my mind this way? I don't get it. I don't get me. I don't understand where things come from. Are they petals in the air or does it require more effort? Do you have to catch them? Do you have to pluck them from the ground? 

Where are you standing and what are you thinking and what state of mind are you in

I don't understand and I want to understand 

I want to know

私の体は衰えている

Something wicked this way comes.

私は見て感じる

Is screaming okay? I keep thinking about one thing right now. I keep thinking about how it feels lonely because now I know you were always there with me. And now I know that it hurts to be really alone sometimes. Sometimes. No. Not to be alone. That's not what it is. It's that you are not here. That's what it is. And that's not fair it seems. But I never really liked people's idea of fair because it's really hard to actually be fair. I wonder if coming here reduced me to thinking wrong. If force of habit has forced me to spill my guts that I didn't know I had in a place that nobody would ever think to look. Blogspot seems so....I don't know partitioned away? Tumblr makes things pretty but this just feels raw. It's not. Tagged or anything. It's just my vomit on this fucking page and god I don't know if I like this. I don't know if I like this at all.

もう一度削除しますか？

This was a bad idea.

病気が深く走る

GO AWAY DO NOT TALK TO ME I GOT RID OF YOU SO STAY AWAY AND DIE

まあ、本当に

Hey don't talk to me

冗談だ

:^)

時々私は錫です

HEY!

Are you listening to me?

Don't listen to me. Don't listen to me please. Please don't. Go away please. I don't need any of you. I don't need anything.

Liar liar liar liar

When people betray you it is not supposed to be so easy to trust them again

Or people in general

Wow why

再作成するものはありません

I was more me than ever because I wasn't anything at all. And it felt empty and cold and everyone didn't respect it. No buts, no pleases. NO MORE.

Hey?

Did you care?

You didn't did you?

You didn't care.

You lied to me.

Everyone keeps lying to me because I want so badly to believe them.

あなたはまだこれらを翻訳していますか？

I fell and fell and fell, but it felt soft because I'd already fallen too hard to get up. I was on the floor and you were graceful around me. I was on the floor and someone else watched me. Sometimes I really can't tell the difference between acid and rain, sometimes being free means falling apart, sometimes pain seems like the best answer. Sometimes it feels like I deserve it.

私は馬鹿だった

I woke up, no I didn't sleep. And then I was alone and I hummed a song because I was afraid that I wasn't real.

本当のタイトルが欲しいですか？

I am exhausted. I am exhausted. I am exhausted. I am exhausted. I am exhausted.

Poetry always fell from my mouth when I felt nothing and when I felt something it was too unbearable to put it into words

グーグル翻訳

No, I won't write properly or think properly or any of that here because that was a mistake

いくつかのランダムなたわごと

Fucking hell. I feel emptyyyyyyyyyy

I sure miss my memories I want them back

良いタイトル

I just want the old blog back but I don't blame myself for deleting it.

>_>

I wanted to look back at blogspot but I deleted everything. I was listening to Licht und Schatten and I kept thinking about when I wrote on blogspot. And then I remembered that Hiero showed me that song.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S1NmtWDVYk