そこにハハハイ

I think it's that I don't feel safe writing anymore. I feel constantly judged and constantly watched. I feel like every crevice of me is under close examination and that I can't breathe at all because as soon as I say anything everyone will think it's a lie and I'll have to consider it as being a lie too. I shouldn't be listening to that or fearing that, but as unrealistic as it is I can't directly write in what was once my safest space. Nobody would even care enough to read, nobody even looks anymore and nobody gives a shit who I am now, but I'm still afraid.