知らないあいつ

"When I choked you to death did you think about everything you did wrong? Did you think of a million ways you could have avoided the situation and all the small cracks in your defenses that led us there? As you slipped away did you think of our journey, think of how I invaded your mind and twisted you around my finger? Did you think about how incredibly stupid and easy to understand you are, how it took next to nothing to make you grovel at my feet but knowing this you came anyway. Maybe you thought about nothing at all. It didn't look like you got much of a chance to. Too busy being strangled."

He sat up. There's nothing to this but a twisted bit of karma that took the roles and reversed them. Do you remember?

His voice, once soft as silk, seemed to fade into a rough whisper.

"But then, possibly that it why you stand above me know. Funny how things change, eh? I thought I was so powerful then. I enjoyed ever minute of it. But you, you rose up even though you were weak. He laughed. "And maybe I respect you some for that."

煩わしい。

But I think I'm tired.

Headache.

ここです

Eh, call me insane but

私は存在感を感じる

Really though I don't get myself at times

何かが間違っている

All the butter to eat you with my dear

これらのタイトルはちょっと退屈だ

I don't understand myself sometimes

シンプルに、ついに

I haven't talked to you in a week. But even so, knowing the possibility is there to talk to you soon and that you are alive and alright makes me feel less alone. A presence that I don't have to constantly doubt. Well-being I don't have to constantly doubt. It's eased my mind and I think despite the whirlwind of initial feelings it's easing my heart to.

私はしません

"I am supposed to obey. I am supposed to listen."

おかしいです。

Ah, by the way, no eyes on me.

くそ

I hadn't noticed how worried I was until you spoke to me. It felt like a million tons had been lifted off of me and I could finally breathe again. I think I was shocked. Shocked because not even in my best dreams had you been safe, had you spoken to me, had you even had the slightest hope of coming back. 

You're okay. You are really truly okay. You haven't been suffering horribly though you have been put under strain. You always downplay bad situations so it's possible things are worse than you're making them out to be, but you are okay. You're yourself. You have changed, I can feel it, but you're you and you're still becoming better. 

I wish I knew more.

I wish it was easier to know what was happening and how you've been.

But I am grateful.

I am grateful I know this much. Grateful that after seven months of waiting I can rest assured that you're alive and not in danger. I am so so grateful that you sound sane and feel like you and that you're getting help. I'm grateful you can even talk to me and tell me and I'm grateful that you decided to. I'm grateful that you tried so hard and I'm grateful that you still speak to me in a tone that doesn't place me coldly miles and miles away. 

You're safe, I can't believe you're safe.

あなた

Well I suppose a complex kind of song
could pick us up and move us right along.
A masterpiece of words can lead us through
but if I take that path will I find you?

I've always walked through halls of solid stone
and I've made sure that I remain alone.
So when I looked for you I lost my way
and now I'm left with love in shades of grey.

When I met you I only saw the fog
your face distorted by a thick dark smog;
but in my heart a warmth began to grow
I felt a light that I would learn to know.

I cannot break the walls that you've built high
but I don't care and here's the reason why;
I know you with my hands and with my soul
and through your masks I feel you as a whole.

I look into your eyes and I am blind
but I can sense your presence in my mind.
And inside you there burns the purest light
that cuts through me, illuminates the night.

I cannot speak of things I do not see
I can't explain the feeling deep in me
But here I stand and tell you once again
I'll stand by you through hell until the end.